Granted, we have only been married for a little over 7 months. I am by no means an expert on marriage, nor do I bring anything to the table that hasn't already been said by somebody, somewhere. However, a few encounters this weekend got me to thinking that maybe the kind of marriage A and I strive to have is maybe more unusual than I thought.
As we were visiting my parents' church in Maryville this weekend, the pastor who was preaching had everyone stand up and hug two people before he "preached hard words." I hugged the two people sitting next to me: my Mom, and then A. As my husband was giving me a big hug, a lady behind us said, "No fair! You get to hug her all the time" to which my dear hubby said, "And it's never enough."
She looked shocked for a second and then said she wished her husband had heard that. Is it really that novel of a concept that married people should want to touch and hug each other as much as possible? I adore my husband and we try to take any chance we can to hug one another.
The next day, my parents, A and I drove up to Gatlinburg for a delicious Italian lunch and some fudge :) As we were walking along the street, some man yelled out to us, "Hey! Are you guys married or happy?" Always quicker with the responses, A replied, "Both!" Again, another silence greeted us. Is it so surprising that people can be married AND happy with one another?
We believe marriage should look like the Bible portrays it: An amazing gift of the Lord. It is a spiritual union that brings two souls together for the glory of the Lord and the betterment of the husband and wife. Marriage is about our holiness - that is, becoming more like Jesus - than our happiness, and through marriage, we are brought into a deeper relationship with the Lord as we understand Him as our eternal Husband. Marriage is a portrayal of Jesus and the Church: Jesus loves His people desperately, with a sacrifical love, dying so that His people could become righteous. The Church, then, submits to Jesus, recognizing Him as the leader and the one who knows best.
My job, as the wife, then is to submit to and respect my husband as the church should submit to and respect Jesus Christ. I don't do it perfectly, or even well, sometimes. A's job, as the husband, is to love me sacrificially, and provisionally, leading me and discipling me. He doesn't do it perfectly, either. However, within our marriage, I have seen how A tries to love me in very tangible ways, such as leaving me notes in my lunch box (yes, I carry a lunch box), teaching me hard spiritual truths or doing other romantic things for me.
Last night was one such occasion of romance gone awry. After a long weekend in Maryville, we didn't really have any groceries, so rather than asking me to go to the store and shop and then make dinner, my sweet husband offered to make dinner for me!
Here goes!
This is the "main course" for our meal: Cheddarwurst brats with Dijonnaise and saurkraut. Tasty? Yes, surprisingly so. However, in the midst of cooking this, he left two eyes on on the stove. One was empty, the other had a pot lid sitting on it....
One of the eyes on. However, even after shutting off both eyes (and the running water in the sink which was just going....and going....and going....) we still noticed the apartment was getting smoky. We turned on 3 fans, opened the windows, sent Ben to the porch and fanned the smoke alarm as it got smokier and smokier. Then, we realized the smoke was billowing out of the oven, where A had forgotten about this:
Burned nachos. Burned. To. A. Crisp. They smoked foreeever. Literally, they're probably still smoking today! They were charred. 
He had set a timer but when it went off, forgot it was for the brats AND the nachos...Oh well. Our eyes burned all night and Ben sneezed all night, but no biggie ;)So there you have it: Marriage and romance with the Vanderburgs. We may not get it right even half of the time, but it sure is fun along the way, and I'm thankful for God's grace and mercy that gets us through!
If you're interested in reading more about our views of marriage (which are apparently quite different than a lot of other people's views of marriage) can I suggest a reading list?
A) The Bible, specifically Ephesians 5:21-33
B) Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
Check 'em out. I pray the Lord uses them to sharpen A and I in our marriage, and I pray he uses them in your marriage too!
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2 comments:
haha...aww, it was sweet of him to try. ;-)
I've had that book by Thomas foreverrr but haven't had the chance to read it...this summer I'll finally have some time...yippee! :-)
haha you guys are so funny and sweet. I'm glad that people can notice your love for one another. I admit that I have to remind myself to be open for Matt to hug and love on me. Every now and then after lovin' on Hannah all day, I'm just all touched out and I just forget to give Matt and hug or kiss. Thanks for the encouragement to make that a priority :)
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