Thoughts on the day of looooooooove

Well, it's the day after Valentine's. Dare I mention it at all? I know the concept of Valentine's is a tough pill for many to swallow - I'm pretty sure it was for me when I was single. It's funny now, on this side of marriage, how my view has changed. Before, February 14 was a day of bitterness, when I imagined all the couples were happily celebrating their love by staring adoringly into one another's eyes and feeding each other chocolate mousse (of course food was on my mind ;) and a steady diet of kisses.

Reality? It's not really like that. Of course, my husband is an incredible man, so it wasn't that the day or weekend passed unnoticed, but on this side of the altar Valentine's seems like a bit of a cop out to me. He made me funfetti brownies with frosting, and built a fort (ahem* excuse me -  a canopy bed) in our living room, and bought me Reese's hearts, and took me out for frozen yogurt at Sweet Spoons (!), but it wasn't the box of chocolates and fancy dinner and dozens of roses that culture leads you to believe define Valentine's Day. On this side of the altar, I can confidently say that when you marry someone who seeks to serve and love you well every day of the year, V-Day is fun.....but not much different than other days. We went out for Mexican (I promise - we were the ONLY couple in the restaurant, unless you count the Daddy-Daughter Date going on), I had a migraine, and we went to bed early. See? Typical.

To place so much expectation and hope on one day of the year as the day for TRUE romance is a recipe for disappointment, I'd say. When marriage and relationships are based around the gospel, we recognize that you can't go 364 days lacking love and wooing and expect that one day a year to make up for it. To pin such hopes on Valentine's Day is to crush it - and your husband - under the weight of immense pressure. When those expectations of passion and romance on February 14 aren't met, it says to me you either have seriously out of wack expectations or you have a seriously out of wack husband. Men - are you constantly loving your wives as Christ loves the church or are you expecting that one day of romance is enough to make up for a year without? Wives - are you creating huge, unattainable expectations of Valentine's Day or allowing your men to be slackers by not wooing you 365? Singles - are you bitterly viewing Valentine's Day because you don't have romantic love in your life? Jesus Christ is your husband. He longs to love and woo you FAR better than anyone can do. It's not Singles Awareness Day - it's a day to celebrate the love of the Father that he has lavished upon you in the sacrifice of his son. It's a day to celebrate the love you DO have in your life of friends and family (our man-child kind of freaked out yesterday when I wished him a happy V-Day. Seriously? Chill. We love you. Platonically. Accept it. Duh.)

Is Valentine's a huge deal for you? Why or why not? I recognize that I am often wrong and I'm entirely open to being corrected if you've found my assessment to be way off. Don't misunderstand me - I'm not saying DON'T celebrate V-Day. We certainly did. In fact, if you were bitter and didn't celebrate - our fort/canopy is still up and there are still brownies to be eaten, so come on over :) Our door is always open! With that all said - I love Jesus. I love my husband. I'm thankful that my husband recognizes that Jesus is his example of how to love me well - he does a fantastic job, 365 days a year. I'm thankful we go on dates every week and I'm thankful he made this weekend's date extra-special with the brownies and canopy and presents and fro-yo....He's a stud and an incredible Valentine. Even though I don't deserve him, I've got him, and I love it.

 

4 comments:

Lindsay said...

I like the fort idea, so fun! Matt tells me that we're loving to each other every day (we try at least) so why should we be any different on Vday.? He has a point but I still like have a reason to celebrate anything, especially LOVE ;)


oh and by the way, can I be on your Raleigh bucket list? Meet in Charlotte at Ikea?!

Derek and Amanda said...

I would agree with you. I was not feeling very good so D and I went and got Habachi Japan to go, came home and watched a little TV on the couch while we ate. We have some Valentine's traditions. I buy him a picture frame with a recent pic of us to go in it and write Valentines Day 2011 (or whatever year). :) This year after we ate our Japaneese food, I made him a special dessert. Pretty laid back, i love my husband and he loves me. We didn't do any special gifts, seriously, we give gifts on Birthdays, Christmas, Anniversaries, etc. He bought be flowers and I made him a dessert. It was sweet and laid back. :) Perfectly okay with that. :) Too much pressure when it is a big deal. No need. :)

Michelle said...

Yeah, we don't really celebrate Valentine's Day, for the reasons you mentioned. I'd rather my husband love me well every day of the year than to feel bad if he forgets about Feb. 14th or can't come up with something to top last year. So we usually don't do much of anything, maybe get each other a card or a candy bar, I might make a special dessert. Things are going to change, though, I'm sure, with kids...hello cookies and pink and red decorations!

Janet said...

I think "V-Day" for Vanderburg is a good idea everyday. So thankful you are in love and are loved.
MOM


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I'm a 20-something transplanted Southerner - in love with my Savior and in love with my husband. As we move from urban-loft dwellers to home-owners and parents, feel free to share in the happenings around the VanderHouse.

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