The old saying, "When it rains, it pours," seems fitting today. After a night filled with rain, the day dawned cold and wet, with no respite in sight for several days.

Yesterday, I had my second appointment at the dentist for some fillings. Far worse than the first, this appointment is proving to be one of the many raindrops in a storm filled with them. I recognize my culpability in scheduling the appointment in the midst of a busy time. However, I can't help but think that were it not for a swollen cheek, a constant headache and pain, the other "raindrops" that have been falling this week would not seem so significant.

If not for the pain, there would not be a propensity toward tears. If not for the pain, I would better be able to rationalize things that should be minor annoyances as nothing more than a steady drip. drip. drip. However, as it is, I'm struggling to see those things as minor when they feel so major. They feel like an onslaught of a storm against us, though in my rational head, I recognize we are all nothing more than sinners saved by grace, hurting one another and throwing ourselves on God's mercy.

For "if you, O Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared." If the Lord sees Jesus' work on the cross in place of MY iniquities, why do I struggle to see Jesus' work on the cross in place of others' iniquities against us? Why, O Lord, can I not recognize that others' sins against us do not compare to the sins we have committed against you?

Far be it for me to cast stones - but I do.

Far be it from me to get hurt by others - but I do.

Far be it from me to punish them for their actions - but I do.

Far be it from me to forget Jesus already took the punishment - but I do.

Minor frustrations, they may be, but the consequences for those actions were major. The consequence was a cross. It was a crucifixion and a death and a pouring out of punishment on the One who is blameless.

So when I cry and complain and fret about life not being fair - please remind me that of course it's not fair. It wasn't fair that Jesus should die - but he did. It wasn't fair that he should take my place - but he did. It wasn't fair that I would be spared eternal punishment - but he did it.

"O Israel, hope in the Lord! For with the Lord there is steadfast love, and with him is plentiful redemption."